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 I’ve seen how one small change in musicians’ thinking can have profound effects on their motivation, ability to achieve goals, and their overall mood. 

That change is eliminating the word “should” from thoughts and words.  Sounds simplistic, right?  How can getting rid of one word have such a big effect on musicians’ lives?

The word “should” puts your thinking in a make-believe world.  This could be a make-believe world of the past, present, or future, but it’s definitely not the world you actually live in.

Take a look at these common thoughts that lodge themselves inside musicians’ heads:

“I should double my practice time this week.” 

“I should have worked harder before that last gig.”

One of these thoughts looks to the future, and one reflects on the past.  But, both are full of guilt and non-reality.  Both make musicians feel bad about themselves.

Here are some more sentences to think about.  Each sentence is a common thought that musicians have.  Read each pair and see how they make you feel:

1.  a.  I should practice two hours a day.
     b.  I will practice two hours a day.

2.  a.  I should practice this until it’s right.
     b.  I will practice this until it’s right.

3.  a.  I should take that audition.
     b.  I will take that audition.

4.  a.  I should play this slowly to see if I really know it.
     b.  I will play this slowly to see if I really know it.

Amazing, isn’t it?  One word different, and the whole world seems to shift just a bit.

For most people, seeing the word “should” makes them feel guilty.  Seeing the word “will” gives them confidence.  How do you feel when you see these thoughts in writing?

I have given this exercise to many of my music students: Every time you use the word “should,” replace it with the word “will.”  “Will” demands action from you and makes it clear if you truly want to do whatever it is you’re thinking of doing.

 Try it for yourself, and leave a comment to let me know how it works for you.

Every day, musicians face a fork in the road:

Do I practice or do I skip it today?  Each day, as you face this question, you are determining your future.

One path leads to the ability to face challenges and meet them head on.  It is the path of success–whether in music or in any other endeavor.

The other path leads to feelings of guilt and always running from what’s important to you.

A very small change in your behavior today has stunning consequences down the road.

Consider these two people:

Both are 20 pounds overweight.  Both want to lose this weight.  Both come up with the same specific plan to lose the weight:  Stop eating desserts and walk 30 minutes a day.

Each day, these two people face a question.  They wake up in the morning and say to themselves, “Should I go for that walk this morning?”  If, on one day either of them say, “No, I’ll just skip this one day and get back to it tomorrow,” it’s likely they won’t walk tomorrow either.

Person one dedicates their life to this change.  They put the goal in writing.  They put the plan in writing.  They tell their spouse about the plan so they have outside support.  Every day, when he returns from work, he goes for that walk before dinner.  After dinner, he says no to eating dessert.  Each day is a challenge to make these decisions.  But, he makes the decisions that are part of his plan.

Person Two has the same dedication and starts with the same steps: goals and plan in writing.  The first week everything goes according to plan.  On day 8, he gets home from work and says, “I don’t feel like walking tonight,” so he skips the walking.  Here’s what will happen: By the end of week 2, that person will only have gone on 5 walks, not 7 as planned.  It will get easier and easier to skip the walk.  By the end of four or five weeks, the plan will be abandoned.  The weight will not be lost.  The desserts will get eaten.

This fork in the road exists for all of us in our musical life.  We must decide which way to turn.  Whether it’s exercising or practicing, it’s the daily pursuit that gets the results.

You can’t make up for it later.  You can’t say on the last day of the week, “Well I didn’t do my 30 minutes of practicing a day.  I’ll just practice for 3 1/2 hours today to make up for it.”  It doesn’t work that way!

You face the fork in the road every day.  Which path will you choose?

Many musicians work on silencing their inner critic.  We all know that put-downs coming from our own minds can be damaging to mental health and to our performances.  Shutting down this negative inner dialogue is a key component to performing successfully.

But, there’s another aspect of the inner voice that doesn’t get as much attention: Even when the inner voice is shouting encouragement, it can still be damaging!

The ironic thing is that the inner voice hurts you both ways.  When you tell yourself things are going badly, you will mess up.  If you tell yourself you are doing great, you will mess up.

While you’re performing, you must avoid having even such innocuous thoughts as “I sound pretty good right now,” or “I made it through that spot with no problem.”  These sentences are sure signs that you have gotten outside the music.  While playing, you ultimately want to be thinking in the music language, not in spoken language.

When you have an inner dialogue, it’s a sure sign that you’re outside of the music—thinking about yourself instead of just performing.  The dialogue is just your inner critic raising its ugly head.  Even if the thoughts are positive while you’re performing, they can be dangerous.

As soon as your inner voice begins to praise, you will likely make a mistake in your playing.  The higher the praise, the more likely the mistake.  For instance, if you say “This is the best I’ve ever sounded,” you are sure to fumble on some passage that is the easiest in the piece.

It’s even worse if you focus on what other people are thinking about you.  Probably the worst thought you can have while performing is, “I sound great; they’re going to be so impressed with me.”  That thought is an invitation to the music gods to strike you down.

The inner voice is a strange animal. Whether offering encouragement, harsh criticism, or even something unrelated to your music, this voice often invites disaster.  So, what’s the best advice for your performances?  Don’t think about your playing while you’re playing.

Do you know what you want to get out of your music lessons?  The key to success is finding the right teacher for your needs.  You need a music teacher who will help you achieve your goals and who has experience with students of your age, ability, and mindset.

If you know what you are looking for, simply ask prospective teachers if they enjoy teaching students like you.  While you’re at it, ask these teachers for references.  It’s good to talk to other people who have studied with a particular teacher to hear their perspective.

It’s important for students to know their teacher’s strengths, likes, and dislikes.  For instance, some teachers excel at teaching beginners.  Others only want to work with advanced students but take on beginning and intermediate students to keep their schedules full.  They may resent these beginners and not give their all during lessons.  These teachers may subconsciously be saving their best efforts for their “star” students who are very advanced.

You need to know what your teacher is best at teaching.  If it’s something other than what you need to learn, find another teacher who is perfectly matched to your needs.  Many musicians neglect doing this, and they end up studying with a teacher who is not perfect for them.

My wife teaches violin and viola lessons.  Her specialty is children at the beginning and intermediate levels, and she’s amazing with these young musicians.  Parents know that their kids will be in a patient, nurturing environment that enhances learning, builds self-esteem, and allows children to have fun.  When other parents are looking for a teacher for the young violinist in the family, they know that my wife has the experience and attitude that matches their needs.

If an advanced high school violist were looking for a teacher to help with college audition preparations, they could study with my wife.  As a professional violist, she has the knowledge and skills to help this high school musician excel.  But, this type of lesson isn’t what she does every day, and she sends advanced players to other teachers.

Have you found the perfect teacher for your musical goals?  If not, find the teacher who is just right for you.  After all, it’s your time and money being spent on lessons.  Make sure they’re spent wisely.

To make music lessons successful, music teachers and music students need to truly understand each other.  They need to make sure their goals are in sync, and that a plan is in place to propel the student forward toward those goals.

As a student, you need to have goals for your lessons, and you need to discuss these goals with your teacher.  Once you’re taking music lessons, are you making sure you’re doing everything possible to get the most from those lessons?  If not, you are unlikely to meet your goals anytime soon.

Here are steps you can take to make sure you’re getting the most for your time and money with your music lessons:

1.  Have a lesson notebook.  Be sure you and/or your teacher are writing down notes at the lesson.  Without this written record, you are unlikely to remember what happened at the lesson.  I recommend my book, the Musician’s Practice Planner, for this.  It can be used for all instruments!

2.  Record your lessons.  With your teacher’s permission record audio or shoot video of your lessons.  When you review these recordings after your lesson you will be amazed at how much more there is to learn!  It’s like getting another lesson or two for free.

3.  Review.  Go through your notes from the lesson and/or your lesson recordings as soon as possible after the lesson.  You will retain more information if you review while the actual lesson is still fresh in your mind.

4.  Ask questions.  Keep a list of questions during the week between your lessons.  Write these in your Musician’s Practice Planner so you remember to ask your teacher these questions at your next lesson.

Doing these four steps will supercharge your lesson experience.  You will learn so much more than if you do not do these steps.  And, you will stand out in your teacher’s eyes as someone who is serious about playing music.  When your teacher has a favorable opinion of you, your lessons will simply be better than if your teacher doesn’t take you seriously.

How much do you remember about your practicing day to day?  If you’re like most musicians, the answer is:

Not much.

There are two crucial places you need to be writing notes to yourself: in your sheet music and in a practice diary.

In your music, you can write out specific techniques that you know are working to help you play accurately.  Depending on your instrument, you’ll want to write in fingerings, breath marks, shifts, positions, dynamics and anything else you need to remind you what to do.

It’s important to take notes.  Don’t make the mistake of thinking that you will remember all of the details you worked out during today’s practice session. When tomorrow rolls around, you will probably forget some of what you worked out today.  So, be sure to write it in the music.

In addition to writing in your music, you’ll find that keeping a practice diary will help you perform better and learn faster.  With a notebook like the Musician’s Practice Planner, you have a place to write down your thoughts, musings, emotions, and attitude about what you’re doing.

There is room on the Daily Practice Log page (the right page) in the Musician’s Practice Planner for this type of writing.  That’s why there’s an entire page devoted just to what happens during the week while you’re practicing.  This gives you space to write much more than just what you practiced.

Remember, these notes you’re writing to yourself are only for you.   So, you can write encouraging words to yourself.  Your Musician’s Practice Planner becomes your music diary, a chronicle of your journey as you master your instrument.

Taking the time to write notes to yourself is time well spent.  You’ll have a boost in both morale and memory by keeping a written log of your practicing.

Music students must have a to-do list when they leave their music lessons.  It’s impossible for students to remember everything they’re supposed to be playing, and having a written list is best for most musicians.

The practicing to-do list should have three main parts to be effective:

1.  What to practice:  This is the list itself, which can include sections of songs, exercises, scales, and whatever else needs to be done.  The more detailed this list, the better.

2.  Why to practice: The “why” component is a specific goal for each item on the to-do list.  Goals give students incentives to work on their music.  When a goal is reached, it feels like a victory for the student.  This sense of victory feels so good that students want to keep practicing to accomplish their next goal.

3.  How to practice:  The “how to” includes specific strategies for each practice item.  These strategies are the connection between the “what” and the “why” of the to-do list.  Basically, students need to be shown specifically how to tackle each item on their list so that they can accomplish their goals.

The Musician’s Practice Planner is designed with plenty of room for all three of these parts.  In each major category, the “what” and the “how” can be clearly written so the student knows exactly how to go about learning the material.  And, for each item on the practice list, there is space specifically set aside to list a goal.

When music students see how to practice and why to practice, they are much more likely to actually learn everything on their list.  Each student needs a personalized approach to balance the “what,” “how,” and “why” to motivate them week after week.

The Musician’s Practice Planner is essentially a tool that communicates motivation to students in between lessons.

Music teachers and music students will achieve more if they understand a truth about how the human brain is hard-wired: We are designed to forget things.

That’s right.  Remembering is rare.  Forgetting is normal.

Once you come to terms with this reality, everything changes for you.  You won’t be so hard on yourself for forgetting to do something or for not being able to memorize your music quickly.  You’ll know that you need written lists to guide you through your practicing and your other activities of the week.

When music teachers expect their students to forget everything they’re told, a new style of teaching emerges.  Instead of being perplexed by students’ inability to remember things, teachers instead are forgiving.  This sets up a warmer relationship between students and teachers and actually helps students learn more quickly.

Teachers also realize that they need a foolproof system for helping their students remember what and how to practice.  They make sure this system is a central part of their teaching.

Helping musicians remember things is one of the main uses of the Musician’s Practice Planner.  We designed this notebook to make it easy to use.  By putting practice categories in large boxes, musicians get used to looking in the boxes each week for specific items to practice.  Scanning the Weekly Lesson Plan is easy for students since they know to always look in the same place for repertoire or for warmups.

Without a tool like the Musician’s Practice Planner, students are likely to forget nearly everything that was discussed at their lesson.  They won’t know what to practice, and they won’t have any guidance from their teacher between lessons.

If we come to terms with the fact that we are designed to forget, we can quickly see the need to have organized lists to guide us through our time in the practice room.

The Musician’s Practice Planner can be used as a motivational tool to keep musicians on the path of success.  By writing down two key pieces of information, you can use your Practice Planner to clearly guide your achievements.

These two are:

1.  How many days you will practice this week.

2.  How long you will practice on each of those days.

With this information in writing, you have a guideline for the week and a clearly measurable goal.  You can and should feel successful when you reach your goal for the week.

It’s important to make this plan every week to overcome a significant difficulty for musicians: Practicing only when you want to.

Many musicians make the mistake of practicing only when they “feel like it.”  They wait for inspiration and a strong desire to play music before they get started practicing.  This attitude generally leads to very little practicing and very little forward progress.

Thomas Edison famously said that genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration.  I think the same could be said about success.  Hard work is simply more valuable than feeling inspired if you want to be successful at achieving your musical goals.

Write down the amount of time you’ll practice this week.  Be realistic about your responsibilities and your schedule.  Plan ahead.  If you decide that you will practice 6 days this week, for a minimum of 45 minutes on each of those days, than write it down in your Practice Planner at the beginning of the week.

Find a spot in your Musician’s Practice Planner to write down this information consistently.  By putting your weekly practicing goals in the same place every week, you build up a positive habit that will help you stick to your plans.

There are several places in the Musician’s Practice Planner where my students generally write down their time goals for the week:

• The  top of the Weekly Lesson Plan page (the left page)
• The top of the Daily Practice Log page (the right page)
• In the “Special Notes for the Week” section of the left page
• In the “Other” section of the left page

Every day, you have to get started with your practicing–no matter what.  It will be easy to keep going once you begin.  Even if you’re tired and don’t feel inspired to play, follow your plan.

Use the information you wrote down at the beginning of the week to keep you motivated every day.  This plan is a promise and a commitment you made to yourself about achieving goals.  Stick to your plan today.

The Musician’s Practice Planner if often praised for its ability to organize practice sessions and keep music students focused. 

There’s another use for this practice notebook that is even more vital: Inspiring musicians.

When musicians feel inspired, they are much more likely to practice regularly and stay focused on their aspirations.  They stay calm in the face of challenges and don’t give up when they encounter difficult music they’re supposed to learn.

There is a section in the Musician’s Practice Planner that is designed specifically for the purpose of inspiring students.  This section is the “Special Notes for the Week” space on the Weekly Lesson Plan page.

Special notes can be anything the teacher feels will most help the student during the time in between lessons.  While it’s tempting to include only ideas for improving technique in these notes, many students need some words that will keep them excited about music. 

The interesting thing is that these words often arise spontaneously during a lesson when teachers and their students are really connecting.  Conversations during the lesson often lead to insights which are perfect to include in the Special Notes section.

Often, these words of wisdom are more important to the student than their list of what and how to practice.  The Special Notes can be the inspiration for for playing music every day.

When we first created the Musician’s Practice Planner, the idea was to give music students a tool that would help them achieve their goals.  The specifics of time spent practicing, metronome markings, and lists of practice items are merely details in the broader scheme.  The real focus is goal achievement, and keeping students inspired is one of the best ways to help them meet and beat their goals.